A Day of Thanks

**Author’s note–Yes, it’s January, I am well aware.  For me, this never gets old.  Freedom is something I never thought I could or would ever experience.  When I initially wrote this at the end of 2016, being free from the pain of the past was a dream I did not even dare to dream.  It hurt that bad.  Until Jesus knocked on the door of my heart, and I opened that door.  He had been there all along, knocking.  When I let Him in, my life changed forever.  

My past is still the same; I have not succeeded in changing one little bit of it.  No measure of anger, hiding because of shame, nor the fears I clutched onto, absolutely nothing could change the past.  The events in my history still happened.   The road to freedom has been challenging.  The climb was steep.  It has taken years of tears to learn forgiveness to walk in that freedom.  I am so thankful to have a written record of that life-changing season.  

A Day of Thanks–November 24, 2016, 9:17 PM

For the last twenty-three days, my posts have expressed gratitude for so many different parts of my life, new places I have seen Him, and a longing to know Him more and more.  What is it, though, about Thanksgiving that causes me to look backward or forward, but never right at the place where I am standing?  God has placed me exactly where He wants me, in the center of His will.  Not here nor there, but nestled in Him, to learn who the God I call father actually is.  

For the most part, I ignore the happiness of the holiday season.  I skip the commercials that focus on family gatherings and their importance because the past hurts.  There are reminders everywhere of what once was but is no more.  I try to not recall holiday memories, except where society deems it necessary, lest those around me see the truth of my life.  Outwardly, I show no sign of the wooden stake through the center of my heart.  If you didn’t know me extremely well (even if you did), you would not see it.  He, whose grace is good enough for me, knows.  He’s been there for every silent holiday I spent locked away within myself.  One day, it will fade into the place where happy memories live, and I will let go of that I clutch stubbornly.  He is the Prince of Peace.

This season, it is of utmost importance that I usher a spirit of thanksgiving for the Reason for the Season.  I have failed miserably at this task in past years even though I knew full-well the wonders of His majesty.  I couldn’t bring my spirit into a season of praise.  Depression and unforgiveness for myself choked any gratitude I could have mustered.  My mouth uttered the words emptily, speaking from a heart void of praise, to keep the tradition of “happy” for the sake of society.  God sighs His deepest and nudges me to the place of healing and honest gratitude.  

My “endless days of thanksgiving” began on a whim.  Deep within my spirit, God sprang forth and challenged me to choose a different perspective.  Desperately seeking His presence in my life, grasping at straw, I graciously accepted His challenge and let go of my known way of thinking.  

Miracles still happen because He is the same God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  Nothing about Him changes.  It won’t bring back my family or those warm fuzzy Holiday memories.  It won’t make my children suddenly call their momma despite how many times I call them, and it won’t get me to my remaining family.  It does, however, bring peace to the moment I am in and my utter dependence on the God of the universe.  

With traditions long gone, only the God of the future knows what will happen or where I’ll be this time next year.  Unpurposefully, I lead a non-traditional life.  Don’t despair; God uses this non-traditional life to show Himself to me.  Besides, He knows the desires of my heart; he is the author of my dreams.  He is a generous and gracious God.  

To remain thankful in the middle of living non-traditionally in a traditional world, I must focus all my energies on the God who gave me the reason to be grateful in the first place.  

When I seek Him, I find Him.  

There is a reason for this holiday season.  It’s not family, nor friends.  It’s not how much gravy I can consume in one setting, neither is it about the pecan pie.  Twenty-three posts have taught me that there is only one who can reinvent my holiday season despite what I possess or do not possess.  My lack of decorations or food on the table does not find me less in the holiday spirit.  There may be no warm holiday smell in the air or Christmas lights adorning my home.  The presence of God Almighty rests within.  That warms my heart more than any pecan pie ever could.  

Thanks be to God Almighty for His hand of providence in my life, your life, today.  Celebrating the risen King and the Lord of all, Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!