Beyond Comfort

Originally published January, 19, 2017

The journey up the mountain of forgiveness begins in simplicity; seek Him first.  Under my power, failure is inevitable.  In Him, I find success.  

Through my intentional choice to let go of my known way of life, an entirely new world opens up.  When an entirely new world opens up, it allows God to do a new thing. 

“Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!!  Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?”  Isaiah 43:18-19  

Forgiveness is for me; it is for my heart and my heart alone.  Will the world know I offered forgiveness for the injustices heaped upon me?  Will the streams run uphill or the birds sing in unison when I let the pain of the past escape the death it deserves?  No.  Not at all.  Instead, all the Heavenly hosts will rejoice singing “glory hallelujah” for one more heart has prepared Him room.  When there’s room, He takes up residence; he is Lord when He makes himself at home.  

Stop the presses!  I’m not there yet.  Hold the confetti, deflate the balloons; I’m standing at the base of this mountain, wondering, “how the heck?”  Maybe I should wander the desert just a little while longer, say forty more years?  Maybe seventy, while I set up camp here and til the soil for a garden?  God won’t forsake me in the desert; He will never leave my side no matter how long I stare at the base of this mountain.  He patiently waits for me to take a step, just one step, in an ascending manner, waiting to be Lord of all.

If I may be honest, my troubled heart is stubborn and unyielding.  I do not want to let go of my known way of life.  I’m so comfortable in my slavery; it’s common and familiar.  I know the rhythm of the waves and can predict the tide of my life with haunting accuracy.  When I take that first step up the mountain of forgiveness, I leave the comfort of consistency behind.  

My confession, I long for a pattern.  I long for repetitious, every day the same dull day as before.  I do everything I can to keep it as stable as possible.  Consequently, I drown in the pond of stagnation.  Climbing this mountain could and will change everything.

My gentle savior reminds me that He did not call me to permeate in the pond of stagnation.  My life is a journey from here to there.  Here is not my home, but there is a long way off and forgiveness will only do one thing; set me free.  I’ve been captive for so long.  I do not know what freedom looks like, but I long to find it and learn how to live in it.

“…‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.  ‘What are you, mighty mountain?  Before Zerubbabel, you will become level ground’…”  Zechariah 4:6-7  

I am in the palm of His hand; He’s got my back!  He knows every hurt in my heart and every tear I have shed.  He saved each one.  They are sitting on a shelf marked “grace.”  He covered them with His blood spilled out for me.

God never pushes beyond what I can withstand; He has promised to walk beside me.  He gently nudges me but allows me to climb at my own pace.  When fear grips me because I am outside my boundaries, God uses His special chalk to draw new boundaries and reminds me I am still well within the lines.  He desperately wants to do a new thing within my heart, and his way opens up an entirely new world right before my eyes.  Taste and see!

“Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see–how good God is!  Blessed are you who run to Him.”  Psalm 34:8

There is no going around, only up.  My deepest desire is to see God, to know His freedom.  The only way to accomplish my heart’s desire is up.  Deep cries out to deep.  As I place one foot in front of the other in an ascending fashion, I set out to make room in the inn of my heart–a journey up the mountain of forgiveness.