**Author’s note–originally posted January 9, 2017–the year that changed everything.
I met God that summer, and that stack of wood is still in my yard. Through the (literal) blood, sweat, and tears of working the land, I met God. My life is forever changed. I cherish these memories and wish I had written more! Seek Him First is still my mantra. When I don’t have a clue, when I’m overwhelmed and confused, or when I sing from the mountain tops, I seek Him first. Out of all I don’t know, “seek Him first” is the one thing I do know.
Seek Him First
My head is rattling; it is time to write.
I cannot get God’s plan to line up with the dates on my calendar. With the page flip into a new calendar year, I’m supposed to have new thoughts, perhaps even a new plan of action. However, I’m still stuck on seeing God. Even though Christmas time is over, I am still seeking Christ. You know the following line, “When I seek, I find.” Shall we say it in unison?
Even in the dead of winter, I welcome God’s while-I-work-outside lessons. While I stack wood, God speaks to my heart. (in one semi-organized row. I took no liberties and built nothing artistic like a log cabin. As tempted as I was, some would not find this funny.) Over the months, toil under the sun morphed into my prayer closet: a spacious closet with room for many significant thoughts. I would love to say it was my grand idea to *intentionally* seek God as I worked. However, God majestically transformed blood, sweat, and tears into lessons and love. Winter is no different than summer in that respect. Yes, it is cold. Work is still work, and God still speaks to my heart, even when it’s cold.
Today, failure circled my head. Certain words and phrases echoed through my mind announcing my shortcomings. The fact that I could not do things right or up to standard crippled my mind. The thoughts attacked me viciously like a pack of wild dogs on a wounded bunny. With each log I carefully stacked, the ugly gnawing grew louder and louder until I finally shouted: “God!” magically expecting Him to call off the wild beasts and let this poor wounded bunny hobble free. God did not call off the dogs. He simply whispered into my heart, “replace them.”
“Replace them?? Replace them with what, sharks?” I was quick with a comeback and a thought of warmer days and a new life.
“Replace the ugly with MY goodness, MY truth, and MY word.” Oh, okay then. I’m thankful God is a patient God.
“…for the weapons of our warfare are not merely human, but they have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 NRSVUE
Taking captive every thought and intentionally replacing it with the promises of Christ is undoubtedly better than wild dogs and sharks. He is a God of practicality as well.
As quickly as the Lord spoke to me, a flood of Psalm 139 filled me to overflowing.
You search me. You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts before I think them. You hem me in–behind and before. Before you created the trees I stack, you knew my heart. Before you made these rocks, you loved me. Before you breathed life into this dirt upon which I stand, You numbered my days.
How on earth am I a failure if the same God who spoke the stars into existence knows my name?
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Soon after I lassoed those thoughts and bent them over the all-powerful word of God, the wild dogs fled, and the little wounded bunny hobbled free. My day ended with a decent-looking row of stacked wood and a tired back.
Seek Him first, then…
Seeking Him first goes against human nature. Taking thoughts captive goes against human nature, and I am guilty of letting thoughts run my life. Human nature leads me to seek everything else first and allows those wild dogs of defeating thoughts to run free. If I am to continue this journey He has called me to travel, and make it (in good standing) to the end; I must be intentional–set with purpose.
The first boulder, the first cliff I must scale on the Mountain of Forgiveness, is intentionally seeking Him first. Period. Forgetting for now, “and these things shall be added unto you” because that is a natural byproduct of seeking Him first. He promised, and I believe. I must focus on seeking. I seek Him first because I want to see Him. I want to see Him in all His glory, high and lifted up. I want to look full into His wonderful face and let this earth fade away. I want His ways, His thoughts, not mine.
At your feet, I bow my life.
“...for the weapons of our warfare are not merely human, but they have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 NRSVUE