To the Mother Struggling with Failure

To the weary mom, tired from trying to earn your way into forgiveness, God’s grace is enough Click To Tweet

I walked away in the middle of life, left a husband and three kids, and never returned.

You and I both could use a lot of words to describe myself and they would fit accordingly. Mothers do not run away. For fifteen years, I have kept this secret. By those who found out, I have been mocked, judged, cursed, and left to drown in my shameful sin.

Asked to define my life in one word, I would say, “failure.” That one little word, heavy with weight, set the standard for my life and permeated every fiber of my being. I allowed failure to pull me down and drown me under the waters of anxiety, depression, and fear.

Then God said “enough!”

Maybe you’re not like me. Perhaps you live at the corner of Betty Crocker and June Cleaver; your crown of faultlessness untarnished. There is a possibility you are the mom whose children set the bar of impeccability and “failure” never crosses your lips. I admire and applaud you, but that is not me.

Hearing the stories that adult children tell of how their parents ruined their lives and harmed them spiritually, emotionally, and mentally in one way or another, and ladies trying to recover from the scars of a “failure mom.” I hear the horror stories and see the statistical devastation. I know the aftermath failure moms leave upon society and all I can say is, “I am that mother.”

Maybe you are like me. Perhaps you struggle with failing your children in one way or another. Perchance you’ve not been the mom God called you to be. It possible that you’ve harmed them and left them out to dry.

If you struggle, if you answer to “failure” please hear me. God is still in control; hope is not lost.

It’s Not All Your Fault

I am the mother of an alcoholic, drug-addicted daughter. I know she lives in North Carolina and she is a waitress (Thank you, social media.) and that is all I know. Yes, part of this is my fault, and I accept the natural consequences that abandonment causes. However, I did not make her pick up the bottle or force her to do drugs.

Even as I write, I struggle with accepting the entirety of this blame. “It’s all my fault,” haunts me and “shame” keeps me in the realms of guilt. Had I continued to raise my daughter in the way I began to raise her, she might be a different young lady. I made choices. She made choices. None of them good.

To the mom who is defined by failure, accept responsibility for your actions and yours alone.  The evils of this world will try to convince you that it is ALL your fault. The sins of the whole world are not yours to bear. Take your faults and hand them over to Christ, lest His death is in vain. He did not die for nothing; He died for your failure.

.To continue reading, (please do) click over to Unmasking the Mess

Through His Grace, you are forgiven. By His Grace you are set free. Click To Tweet


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Author: MariJo

Sitting in the passenger's seat of life watching this nation roll by. Saved by grace, living on faith!

12 thoughts on “To the Mother Struggling with Failure”

  1. I know as a mom of 2 who works full time, in ministry full time, mom full time, writer, wife, student…it’s easy for me to feel like I’m failing. By time I get home in the evenings it’s 6:15 then I have to cook and do homework with kids, baths then bedtime. I feel I never see them and it kills me. But I know God is in control. Thank you for your encouragement.

  2. Oh MariJo I had only guessed at the pain behind your writing. Always remember…..YOU are a cherished daughter of the most high King. He is your judge….not the world, He is your audience….not the world, He is the one who will never let you go, He will never give up on you and your journey and He will ALWAYS love YOU!
    My prayers are with you and your children. God is holding them in the palm of His hand and that is the best place to be ever.

      1. I really think that God has some amazing things in store for you MariJo. You are obedient to Him and He will honor that and I am convinced He is going to use you and your story in a mighty way for His glory. Some day I will hear you speak somewhere and I will grin up at God and say “I knew it!”

        1. Oh Faye, thank you so much. My reply is late, as my life is in the middle of yet another piece of my puzzle…as long as Christ shines through me…you provide the fire lord, I’ll provide the sacrifice.

    1. Thank you so much Julie! I am honored as well to be your friend. There is strength in numbers, friends like you are a true gift from God! Thank you for the opportunity to release my heart and give it to God!

  3. I knew part of your story, but reading this post makes me admire you greatly for overcoming insurmountable things with the grace of God. You (and He) are amazing. You will be blessed for sharing with others your life and the eternal hope that you have. I’m sending you warm hugs and prayers for you and your children.

    1. Thank you so much Anne. This was hard to write…so much of my life is hard to write and this is only a tip of the iceberg. I have many many more miles to go before I’m home!

      So many big hugs back!

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